Remembered forever

death comes quickly and after a lifetime

new short fiction

on the last seventeen minutes of the life of the late acclaimed and beloved academy award winning actor and comedian R____ W_______ starting with the sound of an ad on an YouTube video that the actor is sighing at and clicking skip in 3, 2, 1,

the text on screen:

Robin's 

Funniest 

Moments (so far....)

the frame dissolves to a clip from a seventies television show 

and a younger version of the actor in a space-suit enters through a door as a younger version of henry winkler in a leather jacket cowers back

and with his body u-shaped around his computer (on his king size bed) on the outskirts of paradise city, california, the soon-to-be late actor found a smile growing as he pulled on himself a few times to get the blood flowing
with each new scene on screen, a thousand memories, a thousand broken promises. a thousand should-have-done-it-betters, if-only-i-would-have-knowns, could it have been different?
and as he closes the computer, he pulls the mirror with the mountain of cocaine closer to him and is quite sure not to look down as he takes the cut straw to his nose and inhales deeply through the left then the right, to even them out
his erection starts growing as he thinks of the belt.
seeing his pants on the floor, he rolls off the bed, grabbing the belt from the slacks (which he drapes over a hanger) and before he remembers moving, he is in the closet with the belt around his neck tight and he's fuckin hard-as-shit throbbing horny-as-all-hell, ready-to-explode so i better take it slow

who is that captain? who is that captain? who. is that captain?

he pulls harder on himself stretching his shaft mumbling
why why why whyyy it's peter pan
his neck strains as he laughs twisted euphoria
sick, sick, sick, sick
he holds his breath with each fit of jerking, breathing in through his nose, tasting the gasoline chalky numbness drip down his throat
and he's trying not to think of the elephant
and inhales
and thinks of tits and pussy and fucking and sweat and strain and strangulation
while jerking
and all the worst things
and the last time he saw his kids (the elephant)
and the reason he left rehab the second time (the elephant)
and his first wife (the elephant)
and that slut from six years ago
who thought he was hysterical
to the point of hysterics
am i funny now?

am i?

am i?

am i?

and vigorously masturbating maniacally

am i? huh?

am i fuckin funny now?
nobody is laughing. am i fuckin funny?
i am? no.
i am?
i am?
i am funny (nobody is laughing, no)

i'm fuckin funny i'm fuckin funny now
ehahhhggg fuck fuck fuck

and he is whimpering as he comes and the inner arch in his left foot seizes and he slips back and hits his head on the exposed brick (which everyone had said was a bad idea for a closet- you're never going to see the brick why spend the money?) and he bites his tongue tasting iron before consciousness
fades
to 

laughter